June 2006


A friend of mine came over yesterday and we had a great time cooking in my small kitchen.  These are the results.  They taste as good as they look.

over view An overview of the five dishes we made.

salad A salad with blue cheese dressing, radishes and gargonzola.

health  Zucchini with feta and a bean, pea, broccoli medely.

lentils and black beans Pav bhaji lentils and a black bean, mango and jicama salad.  Both mm mm spicy. 

the sink afterward  The sink the morning after the evening before.

We also made roasted broccoli and garlic which was so easy and delicious it was almost insane. 

The entire experience was awesome: the cooking, the conversating, the eating.  I feel really blessed to have friends to share my life with and to make it better.

Some of the recipes came from Yogi times and Kalyn's Kitchen.

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Warning: I just got back from An Inconenvient Truth so I'm a little rilled up with us as a country right now (we'll see how that comes out).   Never the less you must go see this movie it is awe inspiring and very sobering, hell take a friend or a dozen it will be worth it for you and them.

Anyways on to the scribblings.

The question was asked : if you could have ANY mystery unveiled for you, what would it be? 

Why are we (as humans) so resistant to change?

Why do we continue down paths of self-destruction knowingly and willfully?  Why do we convince ourselves that another path is harder even if it is better for us?  I know in my personal experience that when I have tried to change myself in big ways and get away from an aspect of my self-destruction it was scarry and full of excuses not but afterward it was always worth it.  Why do I sometimes desire to be with my ex-lover knowing full well that we are both healthier spiritualy and emotionally now that we are apart?  Why does my father refuse to learn new skills to provide for himself and my mother now that he is older and not able to work in the same way he used to in the past?  Why do we as American's refuse to change the way in which we use the world's resources to make money?  Why do we still think that money can't be made while we preserve our earth, instead of devouring it like unthankful parasites?  Why do we still believe that recycling, reducing and reusing is inconveniet?  Why do some think that the earth has unlimited resources for us to use? Now that I think of it if I did KNOW for sure why we as humans get stuck so easily, would it change anything.  Would it make my own change easier?  Hopefully!  I am a realist (or skeptic, depending on how you look at it) and would regretfully have to concede that it might not change anything on a broad scale.  Knowledge may be power but the real change happens in the action. 

The opposite of that same question was asked : What do I want to remain a mystery?

Is there a God?

I don't want to know.  I've made up my mind on the subject and it keeps me driven in my own life.  I believe that if the world did know for sure all it would do is cause more strife over what I see now as a moot issue.  For me there is no god, at least not like the one I was raised with in my parent's christian household.  There is no god that will save me, only I can do that.  There is no god that punishes me for my actions, reality does a great job at that.  There is no got that has a master plan for me, that's my job.  He, she, or it is to busy doing something (like creating other worlds/universes) to have time to take our responsibility from us.  There is a god that gave us the privilage of living on this earth for a short time, take advantage of it you may not get another chance.  There is a god that created the wonderfulness that is our universe, earth and lives ; appreciate it as it is now for it will change or be gone in a instant.  There is a god that gave us our awesome ability to learn, adapt and create ; let us use our god given powers to do what he/she/it did: create a beautiful, symbiotic, self-sustaining  world.

To read about other people's mysterious world.

my first tat

This is my first tattoo. 

I got it when I was 20.  I remember showing it off for the first time, out in front of the Troubador in Hollywood, and having the reaction of my friends be either "Damn!" or "Whoa!" (leaning back, eyes wide, mouths covered).  That made me smile from ear to ear.  When I got this tattoo that's the reaction I wanted.  I wanted something about me to be impressive. 

As I have written about in the past my self esteem as a child and teenager was very low.  Looking back now on getting this tattoo I would have to say that it altered my body in such a way that I lessened my shame of what I looked like.  If I had a shirt on I didn't stand out but when I did I definately stood out.  It gave me a reason to take my shirt off while running around the mosh pit or at the pool.  I no longer worried about what people said about my extra wieght (at the time I wieghed 280+ pounds) because they wouldn't talk about that they would talk about the tattoo.

When I got the tattoo I got it to identify myself strongly with the group of friends  that I had at the time.  When I got it I wanted something that said something about me and my friends would be impressed with.  I'm glad with what I chose for so many reasons as these two words define me on so many levels.  I've had a job either with my father or on my own since I was 10.  I'm very grateful, now, to my father for teaching my a good work ethic which has paid so many dividends.  This tattoo reminds me daily that a job well done is it's own biggest reward.  If my only claim to fame is being a hard worker that's just find by me.  Even while doing yoga this tattoo is my focus point as I look in the mirror.  So even though now that I'm older and the meaning of the tattoo has changed it's still my favorite. 

To see other's tat's check out self portrait challenge.